Chapter Eight: The Salesman
"Did you ask her?" Olly asked excitedly when I rushed back to the bus line, breathing hard. Then, seeing my face, “Awe man, you didn’t ask her.”
I said nothing.
“Well, that’s okay,” he said, trying to pep me up. “Next time. You’ll get another chance.”
Olly thought I’d chickened out. My face, burning red like a candy fireball, didn’t help the situation.
Agghhh! Why was 5th grade so difficult? I really wanted to take a great big eraser and erase the last 5 minutes. Or maybe a big Command Z key.
I wasn’t even sure why I was feeling that way. Just because Stella had two crappy younger siblings, didn’t mean she was crappy. Actually, maybe she didn’t even like them. Maybe they threw soup at her too.
An image flashed through my mind of us together running from her crazy siblings as they threw sandwiches and hot peppers at us.
Yeah, that might complicate things slightly.
But I was also feeling betrayed because, like, I was never told she even had siblings. I kept replaying the image of the two kids in the back seat. They had definitely been the twins.
“Hey,” Olly said, “It’s okay. Next time.” I couldn’t bear telling him, so he talked about random stuff on the bus for a few minutes and I mostly didn’t listen and played games on my phone.
I was grateful when I was finally dropped at the bus stop and started walking home.
As I was walking by the yellow house, I suddenly realized, if it really was the twins, Stella had to live near here. Because the twins had to live near here.
I guess I had just never known because Stella’s mom picked her up instead of having her take the bus.
I went home and played games a little unhappily for about half an hour. Then, I got mad because I kept thinking about the twins and Stella. And how I needed to worry about getting food thrown at me whenever I stepped outside.
Feeling a little detached – and ready to resolve things once and for all – I decided to find where the twins lived.
The thought of the twins scared me a lot less than the idea of seeing Stella tomorrow and asking her, “On a scale from one to ten, how psycho are your siblings?”
The twins couldn’t live that far, but I wanted some sort of ruse so it didn’t seem like I was just trying to figure out where someone lived. So, after spotting the muffins from Costco we'd been eating on the weekend, I decided to come up with a farce that I was selling bakery items.
I took the muffins out and put it on the fancy plate. Then I got a clipboard and put a blank sheet of paper on it.
There. It was official.
I decided to start at the yellow house. Because it seemed a shame to check all the other houses and then realize it was the yellow house all along. The old man was as nice as ever and I gave him a free muffin because it seemed like the thing to do.
I then went down the street. I told the lady at the first house that I was selling the muffins to raise money for school and then froze when she asked how much.
Crap. I had meant I was raising money for me to spend at school, but I didn’t want her to think this was some school fundraiser.
“Err, they’re 15 dollars.” I said confidently.
“Oh, 15 dollars for how many?” The woman asked, swinging around her purse.
“For one.”
I watched her eyes slowly bulge and her expression change from disbelief to horror.
I walked away from the house feeling relieved and still with the muffin.
The next house was some dude who told me I should sell prepackaged muffins rather than ones just sitting in the open air on the plate.
I then started to wonder, while I was being incredibly effective at moving through houses, how I would even know if I hit the right house. So the one after that, I asked if Stella was home.
“Who?”
“Oh, sorry, a friend who lives near here. She said she lives in my neighborhood but forgot to tell me which house was hers.”
I was on a roll and so in the zone that I flew threw some more houses. That’s when I started to realize that asking for Stella wasn’t going to work either, if she for some reason didn’t live with the twins and didn’t live in this neighborhood at all.
I walked up to the next house and rang the doorbell, then waited the perfunctory 10 seconds.
The door opened and my heart lurched.
Stella was there, and she looked just as startled to see me as I was to see her. Only I shouldn’t have been startled.
My mouth suddenly felt very dry.
“Hi…”
"You’re… selling muffins?" she said, her eyes wide looking a little terrified. I looked down at the muffin plate and clipboard in my hands.
“Oh yeah,” I said after a pause. I swallowed. “Yeah, I love food. Normally, I like to have soup and greasy bread – you know – like the fancy bread you dip in oil, but I had a bad experience with those, so I’m on to muffins.”
Silence hung in the air. I had no clue if Stella actually got that I was talking about all the food thrown at me or not. It’s not like she watches the twins all the time. She probably wants to stay away from them.
Stella’s face flushed red. “Okay… um… I guess I’ll buy a muffin.”
"Okay, cool.”
“How much is it?”
“Um, yeah, it’s a dollar.” Stella nodded and pulled out her purse, a little flowery thing that looked to have a watercolor type design on it.
“Cool,” she said, fishing out a dollar.
“Thanks.”
I gave her the muffin. It was about the most awkward thing I’d ever done. Selling a muffin to my crush who also happened to have out of control siblings and a weird obsession with food fights.
“I’m going to…" Stella started, stepping back, probably to shut the door.
“Hey, are your siblings home?”
“Who? Oh, Addi and Zach. No, I don’t think so.”
I heard some scuffling and banging by the steps to upstairs.
And a curious voice, “Hey, who’s at the door?”
“Stelllllla!!” another voice said, and two sets of feet began to hop down the steps.
They most certainly weren’t out; they came bounding down the steps and then froze about half way down, looking a bit like they’d just been cornered.
"Hey guys," I said, bending under Stella’s outstretched arm that was on the door and waving up at them.
They giggled nervously.
“Ohp – I guess they’re not out,” Stella said.
“What’s the weird guy on the front steps doing?” The girl, Addi, asked.
“Yeah, you don’t look familiar,” the boy said.
“Nope!” The girl said, shaking her head adamantly. “Never seen you before. But you look very…”
“Old,” the brother said.
“Like Stella.”
“Do you guys like each other?” Zach asked.
“Yeah, do you guys like, like like each other?” Addi echoed.
“I’ve got to get going,” Stella said, glowing red. “Have a good day.”
“I have muffins for you two too if you want them.” I shouted to the twins. “Only, I haven’t baked them yet, so it’s still batter.”
Stella shut the door in front of me.
Well… That went pretty well, I thought, even though I was more confused than before.
Did she like me? Is that why the twins had asked? Is that why they had thrown food at me too, to annoy their sister?
I looked up at the upstairs window. I’d better get off the front step. I didn’t want today to be Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.
I said nothing.
“Well, that’s okay,” he said, trying to pep me up. “Next time. You’ll get another chance.”
Olly thought I’d chickened out. My face, burning red like a candy fireball, didn’t help the situation.
Agghhh! Why was 5th grade so difficult? I really wanted to take a great big eraser and erase the last 5 minutes. Or maybe a big Command Z key.
I wasn’t even sure why I was feeling that way. Just because Stella had two crappy younger siblings, didn’t mean she was crappy. Actually, maybe she didn’t even like them. Maybe they threw soup at her too.
An image flashed through my mind of us together running from her crazy siblings as they threw sandwiches and hot peppers at us.
Yeah, that might complicate things slightly.
But I was also feeling betrayed because, like, I was never told she even had siblings. I kept replaying the image of the two kids in the back seat. They had definitely been the twins.
“Hey,” Olly said, “It’s okay. Next time.” I couldn’t bear telling him, so he talked about random stuff on the bus for a few minutes and I mostly didn’t listen and played games on my phone.
I was grateful when I was finally dropped at the bus stop and started walking home.
As I was walking by the yellow house, I suddenly realized, if it really was the twins, Stella had to live near here. Because the twins had to live near here.
I guess I had just never known because Stella’s mom picked her up instead of having her take the bus.
I went home and played games a little unhappily for about half an hour. Then, I got mad because I kept thinking about the twins and Stella. And how I needed to worry about getting food thrown at me whenever I stepped outside.
Feeling a little detached – and ready to resolve things once and for all – I decided to find where the twins lived.
The thought of the twins scared me a lot less than the idea of seeing Stella tomorrow and asking her, “On a scale from one to ten, how psycho are your siblings?”
The twins couldn’t live that far, but I wanted some sort of ruse so it didn’t seem like I was just trying to figure out where someone lived. So, after spotting the muffins from Costco we'd been eating on the weekend, I decided to come up with a farce that I was selling bakery items.
I took the muffins out and put it on the fancy plate. Then I got a clipboard and put a blank sheet of paper on it.
There. It was official.
I decided to start at the yellow house. Because it seemed a shame to check all the other houses and then realize it was the yellow house all along. The old man was as nice as ever and I gave him a free muffin because it seemed like the thing to do.
I then went down the street. I told the lady at the first house that I was selling the muffins to raise money for school and then froze when she asked how much.
Crap. I had meant I was raising money for me to spend at school, but I didn’t want her to think this was some school fundraiser.
“Err, they’re 15 dollars.” I said confidently.
“Oh, 15 dollars for how many?” The woman asked, swinging around her purse.
“For one.”
I watched her eyes slowly bulge and her expression change from disbelief to horror.
I walked away from the house feeling relieved and still with the muffin.
The next house was some dude who told me I should sell prepackaged muffins rather than ones just sitting in the open air on the plate.
I then started to wonder, while I was being incredibly effective at moving through houses, how I would even know if I hit the right house. So the one after that, I asked if Stella was home.
“Who?”
“Oh, sorry, a friend who lives near here. She said she lives in my neighborhood but forgot to tell me which house was hers.”
I was on a roll and so in the zone that I flew threw some more houses. That’s when I started to realize that asking for Stella wasn’t going to work either, if she for some reason didn’t live with the twins and didn’t live in this neighborhood at all.
I walked up to the next house and rang the doorbell, then waited the perfunctory 10 seconds.
The door opened and my heart lurched.
Stella was there, and she looked just as startled to see me as I was to see her. Only I shouldn’t have been startled.
My mouth suddenly felt very dry.
“Hi…”
"You’re… selling muffins?" she said, her eyes wide looking a little terrified. I looked down at the muffin plate and clipboard in my hands.
“Oh yeah,” I said after a pause. I swallowed. “Yeah, I love food. Normally, I like to have soup and greasy bread – you know – like the fancy bread you dip in oil, but I had a bad experience with those, so I’m on to muffins.”
Silence hung in the air. I had no clue if Stella actually got that I was talking about all the food thrown at me or not. It’s not like she watches the twins all the time. She probably wants to stay away from them.
Stella’s face flushed red. “Okay… um… I guess I’ll buy a muffin.”
"Okay, cool.”
“How much is it?”
“Um, yeah, it’s a dollar.” Stella nodded and pulled out her purse, a little flowery thing that looked to have a watercolor type design on it.
“Cool,” she said, fishing out a dollar.
“Thanks.”
I gave her the muffin. It was about the most awkward thing I’d ever done. Selling a muffin to my crush who also happened to have out of control siblings and a weird obsession with food fights.
“I’m going to…" Stella started, stepping back, probably to shut the door.
“Hey, are your siblings home?”
“Who? Oh, Addi and Zach. No, I don’t think so.”
I heard some scuffling and banging by the steps to upstairs.
And a curious voice, “Hey, who’s at the door?”
“Stelllllla!!” another voice said, and two sets of feet began to hop down the steps.
They most certainly weren’t out; they came bounding down the steps and then froze about half way down, looking a bit like they’d just been cornered.
"Hey guys," I said, bending under Stella’s outstretched arm that was on the door and waving up at them.
They giggled nervously.
“Ohp – I guess they’re not out,” Stella said.
“What’s the weird guy on the front steps doing?” The girl, Addi, asked.
“Yeah, you don’t look familiar,” the boy said.
“Nope!” The girl said, shaking her head adamantly. “Never seen you before. But you look very…”
“Old,” the brother said.
“Like Stella.”
“Do you guys like each other?” Zach asked.
“Yeah, do you guys like, like like each other?” Addi echoed.
“I’ve got to get going,” Stella said, glowing red. “Have a good day.”
“I have muffins for you two too if you want them.” I shouted to the twins. “Only, I haven’t baked them yet, so it’s still batter.”
Stella shut the door in front of me.
Well… That went pretty well, I thought, even though I was more confused than before.
Did she like me? Is that why the twins had asked? Is that why they had thrown food at me too, to annoy their sister?
I looked up at the upstairs window. I’d better get off the front step. I didn’t want today to be Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.