Chapter Five: The Stone Age
I made fun of Olly so much after the kids threw oil balloons at him. Because he hadn’t believed me and oil balloons were even more ridiculous than rolls and moldy soup. Now that Olly was a witness I thought this would for sure make everyone believe - I mean, isn’t that why you have witnesses in court? So they can tell everyone what happened? Instead, everyone who remembered seemed to think that since Olly and I were now friends, we were both in on the secret and were making the kids up. It was more of the same. In fact, it felt exactly the same as the first time.
“Yo, Ash!” I called. "Want to hear the sequel to the roll story?”
“What roll story?”
Ouch. But I suppose the internet is full of wild and weird stories and people hear crazy stuff every day. Still, some people paid attention. Olly, Liam, and I now sat at a different lunch table, but my stomach gave an odd swooping feeling when Stella slowed as she was walking by and allowed me to tell her the story. It was even better when she looked horrified and put her hand to her mouth. At least someone believed us. Not most people, but still, Stella did. What did that mean?
Liam said he did too, although I was pretty sure he was kind of lying. He was maybe 50% sure. He was half convinced Olly and I were just both in on the joke now too.
Maybe that’s why Liam was the most adamant that we had to take action. “Set a trap for them! I mean, they can’t be that difficult to catch!"
Only problem was, how do you catch a bunch of second graders without physically grabbing them?
“We could dig a hole.” Liam suggested. We were learning about the Stone Age in social studies. In the old days, they used to dig big pits that they’d cover with leaves and trick big animals like elk and bears to fall into.
Sure, that would be bold, and probably quite effective. Very macho. But we didn’t have a bulldozer. And we’d probably get in world-exploding levels of trouble.
That was the problem. The kids were like second graders, and unfortunately, no matter how crazy and horrible second graders are, nobody would cheer us on if we paid them back by tricking them to fall down a hole, or even if we used their same tactics. I could just imagine it, “Oh yeah, mom. They started a fight so I finished it. I just threw moldy leftovers and bags full of oil at second graders! They sure had it coming!!”
And to top it off, we still didn't even know where they lived.
“What we need to do,” I said, “Is asymmetric warfare. That's how the Americans beat the British in the American Revolution. We can't fight them in the same way. We’ll just outsmart them"
“That somehow doesn’t sound very hard,” Liam said.
I didn't think so either, but there was definitely something strange about them. The first time could have been random. The second time, however, was definitely preplanned.
"Any ideas?" I asked.
Olly nodded confidently. "Dude, I'm full of good ideas. We'll just set our own trap."
“Yo, Ash!” I called. "Want to hear the sequel to the roll story?”
“What roll story?”
Ouch. But I suppose the internet is full of wild and weird stories and people hear crazy stuff every day. Still, some people paid attention. Olly, Liam, and I now sat at a different lunch table, but my stomach gave an odd swooping feeling when Stella slowed as she was walking by and allowed me to tell her the story. It was even better when she looked horrified and put her hand to her mouth. At least someone believed us. Not most people, but still, Stella did. What did that mean?
Liam said he did too, although I was pretty sure he was kind of lying. He was maybe 50% sure. He was half convinced Olly and I were just both in on the joke now too.
Maybe that’s why Liam was the most adamant that we had to take action. “Set a trap for them! I mean, they can’t be that difficult to catch!"
Only problem was, how do you catch a bunch of second graders without physically grabbing them?
“We could dig a hole.” Liam suggested. We were learning about the Stone Age in social studies. In the old days, they used to dig big pits that they’d cover with leaves and trick big animals like elk and bears to fall into.
Sure, that would be bold, and probably quite effective. Very macho. But we didn’t have a bulldozer. And we’d probably get in world-exploding levels of trouble.
That was the problem. The kids were like second graders, and unfortunately, no matter how crazy and horrible second graders are, nobody would cheer us on if we paid them back by tricking them to fall down a hole, or even if we used their same tactics. I could just imagine it, “Oh yeah, mom. They started a fight so I finished it. I just threw moldy leftovers and bags full of oil at second graders! They sure had it coming!!”
And to top it off, we still didn't even know where they lived.
“What we need to do,” I said, “Is asymmetric warfare. That's how the Americans beat the British in the American Revolution. We can't fight them in the same way. We’ll just outsmart them"
“That somehow doesn’t sound very hard,” Liam said.
I didn't think so either, but there was definitely something strange about them. The first time could have been random. The second time, however, was definitely preplanned.
"Any ideas?" I asked.
Olly nodded confidently. "Dude, I'm full of good ideas. We'll just set our own trap."
Next: Chapter Six
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